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From the Back Row by Dr. Dean Scott from FunnyVet.com
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Oct 16
2012

FunnyVet Ebooks Now Available!

Posted by Dean Scott in Untagged 

Dean Scott
Just a short, yet gleeful, update!  We have just posted our first offerings into the ebook fray!  The first volume of The Incomplete Dog Book - Nothing You Ever Wanted To Know About Dogs is now available.  There are three more volumes to follow.  These are cartoon/humor books set-up in a format of normal dog breed books, but with the unique slant that FunnyVet puts to everything.  Ebooks have size limitations and because mine are illustrated, they had to be broken up into volumes.  For those of you with young children, we have our two-part book in which cows embark on an ever-escalating competition that gets out of hand.  It starts when one brags that they are the Cow The Jumped Over the Moon and the other one decides to up the ante by jumping over Mars.  It has humor, an introduction to our solar system, and a lesson about competition.  There are also little additions we worked into the illustrations to give another level of fun activities within the storyline.  You should be able to read them on any of your devices, Kindle, Nook, iPad, computer etc.  We hope you enjoy this new venture we're on!  Remember, all proceeds go to supporting this free website.  Thanks as always!  Oh, and before I forget - here's where to go to check the books out: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/FunnyVet
Oct 03
2012

Over 1,000 Cartoons!

Posted by Dean Scott in Untagged 

Dean Scott
Welcome to our celebration here at FunnyVet for passing our 1,000th cartoon posting!  It only took six years to get to this milestone, yet it seems both a longer time and just like yesterday when we started down this road.  We had a choice as to whether to post an official “Look!  This is the 1,000th cartoon!” but no cartoon wanted that responsibility.  There was worry that people would look at it, shrug, and go, “Meh.  I’ve seen better.”  Instead we decided to celebrate by adding a new gallery of what we like to think of as very special cartoons since they combine our outlook here at FunnyVet and illustrate what it’s like to be a cartoon veterinarian.  We hope you enjoy!  Some of these cartoons have been kicking around my brain for quite a while and this seemed like the perfect opportunity!
FunnyVet started humbly, with just the thought of sharing some cartoons aimed strictly at the veterinary community.  However, it has grown and morphed beyond anything initially anticipated!  Over the years, we have added client comments, song parodies, veterinary truisms, a CafePress.com store, YouTube videos, a Forum section, a new cartoon/humor book for veterinary students, and this blog.  And we continue to grow thanks to the continued interest and viewer-ship of people like you!  The blog portion of the site was suggested by my website designer and he insisted it was necessary.  I resisted at first, as the thought of a blog was a source of anxiety.  All I could think of was, what do I have to say that anyone cares about?  I didn’t want to “talk about my day” or “let me expound on my thoughts today” or feel like I was in some way speaking for the entire veterinary community from some fountain of wisdom.  Ugh.  I finally came around when I thought that I could supplement my illustration humor with a more verbal format and took my cue from the very funny website The Onion, that takes nothing seriously and I can only aspire to emulate.  In addition to all of the above (my favorite choice during vet school), I’ve started doing comedic performances for vet schools and conventions.  So…..I stay busy.
FunnyVet started from the thought, “Well, I’m a veterinarian.  How else can I not make money?”  I had been drawing cartoons for my own entertainment and stress relief and slowly realized that other people appreciated the viewpoint and sensibility.  Not being able to find a consistent outlet through our veterinary magazines, I took the plunge in starting the website.  I had a few goals in mind.  One, get these dusty cartoons out in the sunlight since all they were doing was just laying around, wastrels that they were.  Two, my hope was to be able to be a stress therapy resource, a place for people in the veterinary community to stop and take a breath, have a laugh, and realize that it’s ok to not take things too seriously.  I’m concerned with the mental health of everyone from vet students to practitioners and staff because this is a difficult profession with unique challenges in simple day-to-day survival.  If FunnyVet helps anyone at all, then I feel I’ve done my job.  Three, I didn’t want to have a website that just ate money.  This last one was to stay in good with the wife and family.  I figured FunnyVet wouldn’t make a lot (after all it’s a free site!); I just wanted it to pay for itself.  For six years, so far, so good.  Again, I owe this to all my supporters out there.  Did I mention you can donate to FunnyVet directly?  I didn't?  How strange.
FunnyVet gets around 3,000 viewers a month, from all over the world!  Literally.  All over the world.  I’ve been amazed that this site seems to translate so well.  Korea, China, Brazil, France, Russia, everywhere!  I have received more praise and thanks in the six years running this site than I have in nineteen years of being a veterinarian.  Maybe that says more about my ability to practice medicine, though, now that I think of it.  Hmmmmm….....  Anway, one of the nicest compliments I got was from someone in New Zealand, who stated simply, “I’m glad you do what you do.”  As long as you out there continue to enjoy the site and as long as I have material to present, I will continue to do this.  Let others know about FunnyVet - we have no advertising dollars, so it’s up to each and everyone of you to pass the word!  And, as always, we have a standing invitation for anyone to send in their funny stories, ideas, situations, limericks, etc. for inclusion in the site.  We have always wanted this to be a communal site, not just my take on things.  I’m just a cat and dog doctor; there are so many aspects to our profession and I’d love to hear from those out there doing other types of practice.
Please "Like" us on Facebook, for we are needy and require constant affirmation.  We are starting yet another new aspect to FunnyVet as part of our October milestone.  We will start posting a cartoon a day from the site and give a little background, insight, or comment about the cartoon idea’s origins.  We’re hoping you’ll like this addition.  But, you’ll only be able to find it on Facebook, so go there.  Now!  Tell your friends!
Thanks one more time for tuning in to this slice of insanity that keeps us sane!

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Above is what a stack of 1,000 cartoons looks like.  I included this because I knew it was bothering you to not know.  And, yes, that's a 15 inch ruler off to the left there, not that the size of your 'toons matters, only what you can do with them.

Sep 08
2012

More Veterinary News Items

Posted by Dean Scott in Untagged 

Dean Scott
New Parasite
After weeks of study it can now be confirmed that a new parasite has been discovered.  While it is only found in veterinary practices, it has a world-wide distribution.  Considering its narrow niche it has been tentatively named Veterinario consultantis.  The parasite takes advantage of a host's naive immune system, passing itself off as a symbiotic organism while exploiting a host's resources.  In this sense it is more of an obligate parasite, requiring movement from host to host as part of its life cycle.  The parasite initially bonds by simulating an endorphin response so the host is unaware of its selfish intentions.  The host sometimes begins develops an immunity, expressing less and less of a response to the endorphin rush, signaling to the parasite to find another host.  Unfortunately, a formerly duped host will act as a vector and introduce another viable host to the parasite.  Scientists are still unsure whether to classify this new organism as a protozoa or helminth.  Currently there is no treatment for the parasite and measures are aimed at reducing exposure.
Pets Finally Getting Best Medicine
Have pets been getting the best medicine they can?  Some scientists thought not and have now come up with a new drug to correct that problem.  Laughter has always been touted as the best medicine for people, however since pets can't laugh that avenue has been denied them.  Until now.  A Maryland laboratory has just completed FDA approval on a drug that will simulate the endorphin effects related to laughter.  "The benefits are astounding!  There is an overall decrease in the ability to feel pain, the immune system is boosted, cardiovascular improvement is seen as well as a decrease in anxiety," Dr. Feelgood, the leading veterinarian on the project, told us, "There are very few side-effects, but we urge clients to seek veterinary attention should their pet experience more than four hours of sustained wagging."  Animal welfare groups have been negative in their appraisal.  President of the People For the Elevated Treatment of Animals, Ms. Vivian Barmy said, "At first we were rightly upset because when a new drug comes out, we know that means an increase in animal testing.  However, when we found out people were used in the testing studies, we basically lost interest.  This just seems to be another move by BigPharma to get a new list of victims!"  The medication is to be released as a once a day slow-release capsule under the name Happet with the tagline "The pill that wags the dog!"  It is designated a Class I drug and will only be available through your veterinarian until the drug company can get around to selling it at CostCo, Sam's Club, and Walmart.  It is only being released initially for use in canines because, as Dr. Feelgood explained, "In our studies, cats continue to be unamused."
Suspect Apprehended In Crank Call Spree
A rash of crank calls to veterinarians in the area came to an abrupt end with the capture of a seven year old Pug named Milo Pugsleigh.  Calls would come at any time of the day or night, at their practices or even at the home numbers of several of the victims.  "I would answer the phone and all I could hear was this raspy breathing sound.  The first time it happened I thought it was one of those desperate political ads begging for our vote.  As it continued, of course, I realized that wasn't the case.  I would ask who it was and why they were calling, but the breathing would just get quicker and more ragged before abruptly hanging up.  It was really disturbing," a veterinarian who did not wish to be identified told us.  "We see this kind of thing now and then," Officer McGruff explained, "Sometimes there's a particular grievance regarding temperature taking, fecal loops, or nail trims.  Sometimes it's just pups having fun.  He just took it to a whole new level.  Other officers have nicknamed him Pugsleigh the Breather."  The path to Milo's capture started when a veterinarian was able to record one of the calls.  When this was played on local radio and television stations, another pet in the household knew immediately who it was and contacted the police.  "When confronted, he tried to run, but kicked off a reverse sneeze attack and he went down hard in the back yard," Officer McGruff said about the capture.  Pugsleigh has obtained an attorney known for his defense of pitbulls and lawsuits against discrimination of transgender poodles.  "Look.  Let's face it.  A recording is hardly proof that my client is guilty.  A lot of Pugs, as well as other breeds it must be said, have difficulty breathing.  Any one of them could have made those calls.  This is breed profiling at its worst.  The police had no leads until Stinker the cat came forward and they jumped at anything that would put a close to their case.  Besides the dubious nature of his name, Stinker has known associations with brachycephalist hate groups.  I am confident my client will be exonerated."
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