Just For Fun 
"VMTH" 
Lead vocals performed by Gary Ward. Background vocals performed by Rick Barclay and Dean Scott. All music and musical arrangement expertly accomplished by Rick Barclay. Lyrics by Dean Scott.
I know a lot of things have changed since I was in school and I know not every school does things the same way, but "back in the day" at UC, Davis there were three years of classes leading up to fourth year where you were (if you were good) be allowed to touch real, live animals. The fabled year of entering the Veterinary Medical Teaching Hospital (VMTH) was an odd mix of exhilaration and anxiety. Exhilaration, because finally you were going to be able to implement your book-learning on live cases and patients. And anxiety, because finally you were going to implement your book-learning on live cases and patients! And now you've substituted the stultifying classroom setting for the exciting, what's-going-to-happen-today?! setting. It was like the first three years were that long first leg of a rollercoaster ride and the fourth year was coming up over the top to that first plunging dive. And there were days (weeks!) where you never seemed to leave the VMTH, yet each day that passed meant you were that much closer to graduation. This song was made with all of that conflicting emotion in mind. Enjoy!
Young vet, there's no need for those tears,
I said, young vet, get yourself off your rear,
I said, young vet, 'cause you're in a new year,
There's no need to be unhappy.
Young vet, there's a place that will do,
I said, young vet, where they haven't a clue,
You can stay there and I'm sure they will find,
Many ways to waste your spare time.
It's fun to stay at the VMTH,
It's fun to stay at the VMTH,
They have everything for young vets to enjoy,
You can look but not touch all the toys.
It's fun to go to the VMTH,
It's fun to go to the VMTH,
It's dark when you go,
And it's dark when you leave,
And you'll rarely see your family.
Young vet, are you listenin' to me,
I said, young vet, what will your problem list be,
I said, young vet, you can fill all your dreams,
But not on the clinic's time.
No vet gets through it unscarred,
I said, young vet, put your brain in a jar,
And just go there, to the VMTH,
Where you will learn to appreciate.
It's fun to stay at the VMTH,
It's fun to stay at the VMTH,
They have everything for young vets to enjoy,
You can look but not touch all the toys.
It's fun to sleep at the VMTH,
It's fun to sleep at the VMTH,
You will work ICU,
And your eyes will be red,
And you'll feel like the walking dead.
Young vet, I was once in your shoes,
I said, I was down and out with the blues,
I felt no vet cared if I was alive,
I thought the whole school was so jive.
That's when someone came up to me,
And said, young vet, take a walk up the street,
There's a place there, called the VMTH,
Where their motto is "Hurry up and wait".
It's fun to stay at the VMTH,
It's fun to stay at the VMTH,
They have everything for young vets to enjoy,
You can look but not touch the toys.
It's fun to work at the VMTH,
It's fun to work at the VMTH,
You can work your butt off,
Get on no one's good side,
You can run but you just can't hide.
It's fun to stay at the VMTH,
It's fun to stay at the VMTH,
Young vet, young vet,
Get yourself off the ground,
Young vet, young vet,
Get ready for rounds.
It's fun to stay at the VMTH,
You'll shine at the VMTH,
Young vet, young vet,
You will learn all new skills,
Young vet, young vet,
You will cure all the ills.
"The Veterinarian"
Lead vocals by Paul Needles. Musical arrangement and all things good by Rick Barclay. Lyrics by Dean Scott.
The theme behind this song becomes obvious as it goes on. It's a compilation of so many of the things that are expected of us to do in this profession as a matter-of-course. Add in that these things are expected of us without any compensation and you've got yourself a career! Hey, sometimes I'm just waiting for a "thank you"! And waiting. And waiting. I know that practicing vets and their staff will find these scenarios all too familiar. Make sure you stay for the entire end of the song for the punch-line.
It’s 12 o’clock on a Saturday,
An emergency rushes in,
Though we were closing and ready to go home,
We knew we’d be working late again.
He said, "Doc, he’s been vomiting for 3 weeks.
His coughing has now become wet.
He’s been limpin' along for the last 7 months
And in my hurry I forgot my wallet."
La la la lala la La la lala la la la
Fix my dog, you're the veterinarian,
Fix my dog today,
You should do everything that you possibly can,
Whether or not I can pay.
Everyone wants to be a friend of mine,
And get advice for free,
At a party or the store they all want to talk more,
About the vet they see other than me.
They say, "Doc, I just have a quick question!
It won’t take but a minute or two."
But some time later my panic is greater,
And I’m looking for my escape route.
La la la lala la La la lala la la la
They want great medicine at a discount,
Every day’s a haggle about price,
Everyone wanting charity just makes me seek therapy,
That I’ll probably go to for life.
And society wants me to sterilize,
Everything that can possibly breed,
"And, Doc," they will boast, "We value you most,
When you will do it for free."
Fix my cat, you’re the veterinarian,
Fix my cat today,
Ya know if ya really loved animals,
You would be giving it away!
They seem to think I’m a convenience store,
Open 24 hours a day,
They come to my house and then think I’m a louse,
When I tell them I don’t practice that way.
And the rescue groups come a’clamorin’,
They say, "You’d help us out if you were nice."
Lately I've been thinkin', it's gonna drive me to drinkin',
‘Cause my job isn’t my life.
La la la lala la La la lala la la la
Fix everything, you’re the veterinarian,
Fix everything for free,
I don’t care if you do it for anyone else,
I just need you to do it for me!
Can't you just do it for me........................................
