"At the Hospital"

Performed by Paul Needles; producer/arranger/sound engineer/drums/bass/epiano/congas/marimbas/flutes (and all around nice guy) Rick Barclay; lyrics by Dean Scott

A little background to this song. After graduating vet school, I found there to be a discrepancy between how much I could make as a veterinarian and my debt load. Surprising? No, not really. So, there I was, working for the Army full-time and doing additional part-time work at night at a local hospital to try to make ends meet with a family of two kids and a car that was more than a decade old. Here's the part where you go, "Awwwww. Poor baby!" I dedicate this song to all of the new graduates who get to share in the same above dream of veterinary medicine, who, having already run one gauntlet to become a veterinarian, endure another trial to make a living as a veterinarian. We all go through the same process - you're not alone and it does get better. Lyrics are provided below if you really, really, really feel the need to sing along.

Living on pennies, In worn out tennies, Snarling poodles and hissing cats, Anals glands and vaccines, After-hour emergencies, 'Round 7PM I'll get to have lunch.

Working late again at the hospital, Searching for a diagnosis again, Some people claim that the vet schools are to blame, But I know, It's nobody's fault.

Don't know the reason, Financial burden, Nothing to show but this brand new degree, But it's a real beauty, Framed in mahogany, How it got here I haven't a clue.

Working late again at the hospital, Searching for a diagnosis again, Some people claim that the clients are to blame, Now I think, Hell it could be my fault.

I blew out a catheter, Did CPR on a hamster, Cut my hand, Wish I were cruisin' back home, Oh my feet are tender, But I won't surrender, That IV caffeine that helps me hang on.

Working late again at the hospital, Searching for a diagnosis again, Some people claim that James Herriot's to blame, But I know, It's my own damn fault, Yes and some people claim that James Herriot's to blame, But I know, It's my own damn fault.

"Wonderful World"

Performed immaculately once again by Paul Needles. Lyrics by Dean Scott. Pretty Much Everything Else by the Great Rick Barclay at Barclasion Music.

I wrote the lyrics to this song during third year vet school. I think it speaks for itself. Once again, lyrics are provided - just don't bother the neighbors.

Don't know much about anatomy, Fell asleep during cytology, Know too much about buying books, Don't know much about the labs I took.

But I'll keep on going 'til I'm through, And if I can pay tuition when it's due, What a wonderful world this would be.

Don't know much about neurology, Don't know much of pharmacology, Don't know much about counting cells, Don't know what a stethescope is for.

But I do know I have my friends, And if they'll stay with me until the end, What a wonderful world this would be.

Now I don't claim to be a C student, But I'm trying to be, For maybe by being a C student baby, I can get my DVM degree.

Don't know much about ovarian phases, Looked at the pictures and I turned the pages, Don't know much about a cortisol fall, Don't know much about nothing at all.

Someone told me "Ignorance is bliss", If it's true and I believe it is, What a wonderful world this would be.

Don't know much about histology, Don't know much of immunology, Don't know much about acronyms, FDPs ATPs or PMNs.

So I'll graduate eventually, And if I get there with some sanity, What a wonderful world this would be.

"Doctor My Dog"

Song performed by Ben Hester. Musical composition and accompaniment by Rick Barclay. Lyrics by Dean Scott.

This is a song parody I did about two years out of school. I had noticed when dealing with the public that a lot of similar themes, questions, conversations, and situations arose on any given day. There were (and are) times that you could predict word for word what a client would say in a given scenario. So I took those thoughts and put them together in the following song. The only modification that I did to the song over the years was adding the internet part since that has become so much more of an effect on our profession over the years. I hope you enjoy! (And, yes, to answer the question that will arise if you didn't already know, there are people out there who think vet school is only two years long)

Doctor, my dog is up in years, And he's been scooting his rear all over the carpet, Now I think he has rugburn,

He doesn't pee where he should, These pills you gave me did no good, You gave me sixty, I have fifty-seven to return,

Doctor, my dog, Tell me what is wrong, Was I unwise, To leave him in the hot car for so long.

Doctor, a breeder told me what to do, Followed my neighbor's advice too, Six months later, I decided to see a vet,

Perform those miracles that you do, The ones you learned in those two years of school, She weighs seventy pounds, Is that too much for a Peekapoo?

Doctor, my dog, Tell me what you see, I checked the internet, And with you it disagrees.

Doctor, my dog won't take his pills, He growls and won't hold still, It's such a hassle, Can you just give him a shot?

We're so glad he'll be okay, We can't believe you're making us pay, We'll write a check, Can you hold it until May?

Doctor, my dog, Doesn't ever bite, I can't understand it, You must not have touched him right.